The Unwitting Escapologist
by WhoAteThePixies
Summary: Instead of spending his summer in Rome writing his revenge, Dan ends up planning his escape from the Upper East Side. (Season 6 AU)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Don't Own, Don't Sue.

**A/N:** I have not watch any of the episodes from Season 6; I only managed to force myself to watch 5x24 the other day in order to help me write this. What I know about Season 6 comes from fanvideos, gifts, episode synopses, reviews and comments on the web (and nothing of which I've seen or read has made me want to watch it). Everything from 5x24 stands except for Lily and Rufus breaking up. There will be mentions of Blair/Chuck, Dan/Serena and Dan/OCs in this story. This is also unbetaed so all mistakes are my own, but if there is anyone out there who would like to be my beta, then I would love to hear from you.

So enough of that and on with the story - I hope you enjoy!

xxx

Without warning or explanation, Blair left him.

Even now Dan's still finding this fact difficult to process. She did try to explain herself through emails and voice messages after she went back to Chuck, but as far as he's concerned that's just too little too late. He deletes them all straight away – it's really not worth his time. Nothing she can say or do can make this better.

She chose Chuck; after denying that she still had strong feelings for her ex, after agreeing to spend the summer with Dan, after swearing that she wanted to be with him. After not bothering to be courteous enough to break up with him, her foolish boyfriend, first.

He calls Georgina when he's at his lowest, feeling completely abandoned, angry and betrayed. All he wants now is revenge. All he wants now is to make everyone who's wronged him to feel as small and pathetic as he does. The only weapon he's ever had against the Upper East Side is words. He knows their true power. So he decides to write an exposé that would make _The Insider_ look like an act of mercy.

Although by the time he and Georgina reach the airport, the doubts start to worm their way in. Those niggling little thoughts, which remind him that this is not who he is. That he's better than this. After he settles into his seat on the plane, which he's made sure is far away from Georgina in order to escape her inane babbling, they just continue to grow.

All the way to Rome.

xxx

He lies on his bed and stares at the ceiling fan as it whirls round and round. Just like the thoughts in his head. He knows well enough that he's not going to get any sleep. There's really no use in pretending otherwise. With a sigh he accepts defeat, retrieves his shirt and jeans, and heads down to the hotel lobby.

The bar downstairs is a decorated in an agelessly elegant style – he expects nothing less for a five star hotel in the heart of Rome. He walks straight up to the bar and orders a whiskey. As he settles onto one of the bar stools, he suddenly becomes aware that someone is watching him from the other end of the bar. He causally sips his drink, whilst using the mirror behind the shelves of bottles to observe the other person.

She's older than him, late twenties/early thirties, and has that self-assured air about her that some women develop with age. He decides that this only adds to her attractiveness. Her blue-grey eyes lock with his in the mirror and she offers him a flirtatious smile, before he looks down at his drink in embarrassment at being caught. He hears a soft laugh coming from her direction.

"Daniel Humphrey, right?"

He turns his head to find her looking directly at him, that same smile still playing on her lips. He notices a gentle Irish accent when she spoke. She chuckles again at the look of confusion on his face.

"Your picture is on _The Insider_'s dust jacket. Right above those few disappointingly vague lines 'about the author'." She takes a sip of her drink, as he continues to stare at her blankly, not knowing whether he should be flattered or a little concerned. She gives him a nonchalant shrug as she adds, "I've look up books of everyone who are listed as part of our merry group."

His eyes widen slightly as he realises what she's talking about. "You're here for the writer's retreat!"

She laughs again, and he concludes that it's still a pleasant sound even if it's clearly at his expense. "I am indeed. I knew the second I laid eyes on your picture that you were a smart one."

She winks playfully at him and he doesn't know how to respond, as he desperately tries to recall the other names on the list and fails miserably.

"I'm Siobhan O'Donovan, by the way."

"Author of _The Feral Garden_ and _Our Discontent_, right?" She grins at him and nods. "Wow, those are brilliant. Dark and melancholy, and... brilliant." He cringes at his own ineptitude. "Sorry, I'm usually a bit more eloquent then this. It's been a long day."

"Well how about another drink then?" She offers kindly, and then orders two more whiskeys when he nods. She tells the bartender to bring the drinks over to a smalls table to the left of the bar and beckons Dan to follow her to it.

They just sit there, talking and laughing, as the alcohol keeps coming and the night starts to edge closer to the next day. Dan feels more relaxed than he has in days. His feels this comforting warmth in his chest, and he's unsure if it's purely down to the alcohol or the fact that his and Siobhan's legs keep accidently touching one another under the table.

"You're not what I expected," He confesses, as their laughter fades away.

"What? Too happy for some who writes such dark and melancholy and brilliant stuff?" Her eyes twinkle as she mocks him with his own words.

He chuckles. "Something like that, perhaps. You're very attractive as well."

Siobhan's eyebrow quirks, as she sits back in her chair as if to get a better perspective on him. "Aren't you down on the list as Daniel Humphrey plus one? A plus one that was no doubt carefully vetted?"

"It's just me now," He replies, wishing that he was able hid the bitterness in his tone.

She starts to respond, when the bartender appears at the table to inform them that the bar is closing. Dan looks at his watch and see's that it's almost two in the morning. Leaning forward, Siobhan eyes him carefully, with her clasped hands resting on the table.

"Do you want to continue this in my room? I have a fully stocked mini bar and this retreat is all expenses paid, thank god."

"Ok."

"And it might not just be conversing and drinking this time. There could be sex too. I haven't quite decided yet."

He almost chokes on the last swig of whiskey in his glass. "You're very direct, you know that?"

She shrugs slightly and smiles at him as she gets to her feet. "I don't see the point of not being. Beating around the bush just leads to missed opportunities most of the time. Anyway, we're writers. Experiences feed our creative souls."

Dan smiles right back at her, as he stands up and offers her his arm. She links her arm through his and leads the way back down to the elevator.

xxx

He slowly wakes to the feeling of heat radiating off the naked body next to him. For a moment his treacherous mind convinces him that he will see rich brown hair when his eyes open. His heart feels the sharp stab of disappointment at the jet-black hair fanned across the pillow next to him. But Dan doesn't regret anything which happened. Expect maybe the amount of alcohol they consumed, as he's now got a dull pain in his head which is threatening to grow.

He downs the glass of water which is sitting on the bedside table, before grabbing his clothes off the floor. Once he's full dressed, he wakes Siobhan with a gentle kiss to her head and tells her that he needs a quick shower and he'll see her at breakfast with the others. She slowly stretches as she yawns, giving him a perfect view of the curves he foggily remembers from the night before. She grins when she spots him staring and tells him to clear off before he ends up late for breakfast. He happily strolls back to his room, a slight bounce in his step as he welcome a new day for once. New day, new begin - that's how it's supposed to go.

Dan's good mood dies when he opens his door to find Georgina sitting on his bed. "How did you get in here?"

"Please, what's important is why you weren't in here," She scoffs. "Where were you?"

He tells her that it's none of her business and, seeing as he's decided that he no longer wants to write the exposé, she can go. Georgina tries to protest that he can't change his mind now, reminding him of what's been done to him in an attempt to get thoughts of revenge to cloud his judgement once more.

"Look Georgina, someone helped me realise something really important last night. About how a true fictional writer's job is to create a world for the reading, which is made by drawing on their experience, but doesn't perfectly replicate it. All I've ever wanted is to be a great writer and I don't want to tarnish my work in order to score some petty points against people whose opinions I shouldn't care about."

"This isn't about some petty points; this is about the take down of the century. It's about taking back what's yours."

Dan just slowly shakes his head, as he holds the door open for her. "That's not who I am, Georgina and you know it. And it's not someone who I ever want to be. So this is goodbye."

He has to gently lead her out the door as she continues in vain to talk him round. Surrounded by blissful quite against, he quickly swallows a couple of painkillers and steps into a steaming shower. By the time he makes it down to the dining room for breakfast, he's running late. But Siobhan has helpfully saved him a seat next to her at the table.

xxx

After a couple of days, Dan knows that staying at the retreat without Georgina is one of the best decisions he's ever made. His still sleeping with Siobhan; she made it clear that all she's after is some fun during their stay in Rome and he's more than happy to go along with this plan. On the first day some of the other writers and plus ones inquired where his girlfriend was, but they quickly dropped the subject when he stated that they'd broken up. The others are aware of what's going on between him and Siobhan, but they couldn't care less so long as it doesn't affect the group's dynamic. It's common knowledge within certain circles that Siobhan frequently has flings.

"If you can't be good, be careful," She once quipped at him, as she shoved him back onto the bed with a salacious smirk lighting up her face.

She told him early on that what she loves more than anything else in the world are people. They fascinate her; their lives, their stories. It's why her novels always have character driven plots, which explore the flaws of being human and the relationship that are formed with others of our kind. She just loves to be surrounded by them. Sometimes someone comes along that intrigues her so much, that she wants to get to know them intimately. And, more often than not, without any clothes on. Dan asks her about whether she'd had any long term relationships before. She laughs darkly and tells him that she's dabbled with commitment, but it's always ended up being a catastrophic failure.

"I'm a nightmare to live with," She states bluntly, like it's a universally accepted fact. "I should only be exposed to other people in short bursts. Prolonged exposure is just bad for the health."

He thinks for a second that he's the opposite; he's bad when it comes to having flings and he's much more successful as a monogamist. Although, when he recalls all of his past long term relationships, he wonders if he had ignored all the obvious issues at the start and that's why he's always been blindsided when everything eventually falls apart. When he tries to explain this to Siobhan, she seems to carefully mull it over as she delicate takes a long sip of red wine.

"I think you need to be sure about who you are as a person - you as an individual - before you can know what you want from your relationships with other people. How you and them as individuals fit together and will work as a pair." She looks him up and down, before slyly smiling at him. "I can imagine that you make a pretty good boyfriend. I think you just need to find a woman who appreciates that and wants a relationship with Dan Humphrey, not just a 'prefect man'. Until then, find people who want to have fun when you want to have fun and enjoy yourself!"

"Like you?"

"Like me."

Siobhan is a lot of fun; she drinks too much and laughs constantly, but she can also be serious when the situation calls for it. They find that they have the perfect partnership when it comes to bouncing ideas off one another and critiquing each other's work. After promptly rolling her eyes and removing the carefully placed bookmarks from his travel guide, she gets him to randomly choose one attraction each day to do during their free time. Sometimes she comes along with him, their arms link together, whilst he recalls the small snippets of information he remembers from the guidebook. ("See," She teased him on their first excursion, "You didn't need the bookmarks or to bring the damn thing along with you; you've already memorised all the best bits!"). Other times, she gives him a quick kiss on the cheek and leaves him to wander around Rome by himself. Most of the time, he enjoys these moments of solitude as much as having Siobhan there, but there's a high risk that he will begin to dwell on things when he's by himself.

One afternoon, when Dan is taking his time to admire the _Martyrdom of Matthew_, he catches the glimpse of chocolate curls amongst the crowd of tourist in the church. He turns quickly to see the familiar brunette, dressed in an expensive floral sundress, leaving the building. Without a second thought, he rushes through the doors. As he desperately looks down the bustling street outside, trying to spot her once more in the mass of bodies, his head and heart pound in time with thoughts about why Blair is here.

Had she travel half way across the world to apologise? Because he'd been ignoring her calls and emails? To yell at him for sleeping with Serena? Was she here to tell him that she was wrong about Chuck and what would he do if this is the case? Any thoughts of her were always accompanied by a kaleidoscope of emotion; hurt, betrayal, fondness, anger, caring, rejection and, despite himself, love.

Suddenly, he sees her again and he runs to catch up with her. His breath is short, his ears are ringing and he starts to feel sick, but he needs to know why she's here. What did she come all the way to Rome for? She's only a few centimetres away now; if he stretches out his arm, he might be able to touch her elbow with his fingertips.

Then the girl turns her head slightly and the illusion is shattered. Dan stops dead, feeling stupid and dejected, as the stranger just carries on walking away, oblivious that he was ever chasing after her. Just chasing after a ghost from his past.

'_Of course_,' He mentally scolds himself, '_Of course she wouldn't come here. Not for you. Following someone halfway across the world is something only you are dumb enough to do. She doesn't care about you. She's made that perfectly clear, so get over it. Move on. It's done_.'

And if on cue, his phone starts to vibrate in his pocket. He pulls it out, to see her name flashing on the screen as if to add insult to injuring. For a moment, he wants nothing more than to break the fucking thing in two. Instead, he switches it off, shoves it back into his shorts and storms back toward the hotel.

Once he's safely inside his room, he throws his phone onto the bed and starts to pace back and forth. He's angry that his thoughts are still consumed by Blair. Angry at the pitiful longing that he feels in his heart. He spies his laptop sitting open on the desk, inviting him to turn it on and check his account for her new emails. And whilst he's doing that, he might as well check Gossip Girl for updates on her life without him. He shudders at the thought of sinking that low; he hasn't been near the site since he'd arrived and he'd be damn if he caves in to that self-flagellating, stalker like impulse now.

Instead, he grabs his moleskin and adds to the list which has nothing to do with his next novel.

They're lying side by side in his bed that night, sipping on whiskey for the mini bar, when he tells Siobhan about Blair. The whole story about Blair; from the first time they met at the brunch to the abrupt ending of their relationship. She listens closely as he explains everything about Blair, Serena, Nate, Chuck and his whole messed up life on the Upper East Side. He doesn't leave out a single detail. His exposé is brought into existence for an audience of one. An audience that he hardly knows, but trusts none-the-less.

When he finishes, he can feel the silent tears on his face, the choking in the back of his throat and the reassuring squeeze of her hand around his.

He knows in that moment that, if he wants it to, everything can change for the better.

xxx

The group is in a bar when Blair tries to call him yet again. Everyone is looking at each other with expressions of exasperation. Dan's phone has a reputation for constantly going off and, even though he keeps it on silent, the vibrations still prove to be a distraction. He glares at his phone and then promptly dumps it into his glass of beer, murmuring something about persistent telephone sales reps. Siobhan leads the group in a round of applause and he grins back at them as he orders a fresh drink.

When he gets back to the hotel, he sets up a new email account. He goes into his old account and forwards any emails he wants to keep before promptly closing it. He doesn't even need to delete the five new emails from Blair this time.

He calls Alessandra first to let her know that, for now, he can only be reached by the phone at the hotel or by his new email address. She doesn't ask why he suddenly switched account and ditched his phone. She only makes him promise that she will be contacted the second he has a new cell phone number. He then phones his sister, mum and then dad; he gives them the new email address and informs them of the sudden _accidental _demise of his phone. He makes them swear that they won't give out the new address without checking with him first. When he hangs up, Dan feels in control again; like he's only agent determining his life.

Then he calls Siobhan to find out if she feels like celebrating with him

xxx

It almost the end of his time in Rome when Dan realises that he's never seen Siobhan nervous or unsure of herself. She knows that she can never been super skinny and doesn't care. She knows she can be blunt and crass, but tries to dial it back depending upon the situation. She always wears dresses, because according to her, she's lazy and they're easy to wear. She knows what she wants in the bedroom and is very happy to give instructions to ensure that she gets it.

But right now she appears hesitant as she sits on the chair in front of him and hands him the first few chapters of her next novel. He reads them attentively as they sit in the room in silence. Even with the background, class and location differences, he still recognises the dysfunctional relationship written on the pages. The one he told her about. For the first time in months, he feels a swell of pity for Blair. That she doesn't see the relationship for what it truly is. That she accepts it whole heartedly by believing that it's inevitable and no one else can love her with the intensity that he does. He feels nothing but sorrow at the thought of the strongly independent women that he loved with his whole heart, could be reduced to such a weak unsure girl.

"Is it ok if I use it?" Siobhan ask softly, a wisp of caution mingled with her Irish tones.

He nods, as he hands the pages back over to her. "Yes. I think it could be your best work yet. Can I read it once it's done?"

"Of course."

"What are you planning to call it?"

"I was thinking _Poor Little Lambs_, but I'm not really sure. Not yet." She runs a hand through her long tresses and laughs nervously at herself.

"I think the title suits it."

She smiles fondly at him, before shuffling slightly in her seat. "Can I ask you a favour?"

"Anything."

"Can I see that list you've been working on? The one in your moleskin?"

There's a pause, before Dan gives a nod of consent. He walks over to recover the book from his bedside table and then flicks through until he finds the right page. Dan holds it open as he passes to her so that she can read it. The list which holds all the steps that he's planning to take in order to create the future that he wants.

Instead of spending his summer in Rome writing his revenge, Dan ends up planning his escape from the Upper East Side.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Firstly, a big thank you to everyone who left a review - I love knowing what you guys think about the story. Secondly, this is from Blair's pov and so this chapter deals with C/B. Thirdly, this is still unbeta-ed so all mistakes are of my own making. Enjoy!

xxx

'_I've made the right choice. I've made the right choice. I've made the right choice_.'

This is Blair's new mantra; she chanted it over and over again in her mind as she made her way to The Empire, got on the plane to Paris and travelled through the streets of the most romantic city in the world with her mother. The chant is back in forefront of her mind as she makes her way to Monte Carlo and the casino where Chuck's currently raising the fund for his own personal war.

Once she made the decision to go to The Empire and announce to Chuck that she wanted to be with him, that was it. Her fate was sealed. There's was no turning back from the path she had started heading down.

She couldn't go back to Dan.

The second Chuck spat out his disgust at the thought of being Mr Blair Waldorf, all she could think of was Dan telling her that they were a team. And she'd thrown that way. She'd thrown everything away when she caught the elevator and made her way up to the roof. But she kept telling herself that she had to do it. Chuck and her were meant to be. Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck; they were inevitable. Dan once described them as having some strange force field effect on one another and she'd never heard anyone put it more accurately or succinctly. They were magnetic ; no matter what happened, what stood between them ,they would always be drawn back together by the overwhelming power of their bond.

For days Blair was teetering on the brink of loving Dan with her whole heart and soul. But every time she went to tell him that she loved him, that she wanted nothing else but to be together, the words got stuck in her throat. She began to suffocate on her inability to fully commit to him and the guilt she felt for betraying Chuck. The way Chuck had betrayed her when he started to plan a whole new future with Eva and when he told Raina that she was sacred to him. Chuck never saw her as pure or good. He saw the darkness in her soul; the things that made them so entwined with each other that it was hard to tell where one of them ended and the other began. Over the years they had moulded each other so fitted perfectly together. No one else could ever fit into place.

Unfortunately, for all his accurate observations about Blair Waldorf and her epic relationship, Dan didn't realise this. He saw the good in her - the light and the peace. And for a time, she believed him; that she could have another fate. That she could be another person, living a different life. But in the back of her mind, she always knew that her and Chuck would find a way back to another. It was never a question of if; it was always a question of when. Perhaps then it was an act of kindness that she ended it when she did, no matter how abrupt it was. It spared him the pain of dragging out their futile relationship for even longer. Like euthanizing a sick pet; no matter how much you may love the creature, you made the tough decision because it was the right thing to do. It was an act of mercy. Blair feels stricken by the cruelness of that thought. Dan was not a pet. Dan Humphrey was more than that, especially to her. Dan Humphrey was...

'_Well, none of that matters anymore_,' She tells herself, '_Not one bit, because I've made the right choice_.'

She scours the casino floor until she sees Chuck sitting at a blackjack table, with Jack standing beside him, whispering into his ear before Chuck places each bet. Blair tightens her hand around her stack of chips and strides over.

'_This is it. This is how our whole future together begins_.' She reassures herself.

Blair ignores Chuck's look of surprise and gives Jack a nod of thanks when he offers up his seat. Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck, side by side again. She tells him that he's been fighting for her and so now she's going to fight for him. For _us_. Blair slides her chips onto the empty square before her. She's going all in. In the same way that she swears to Chuck that she's all in with their relationship. That she's not going to bet against him this time. A symbolic gesture back up by a physical one. All the bets have been placed both on and off the table and the dealer slides over her first two cards. She's gets a pair of sixes, a heart and a diamond. Red always was her colour. She thinks about slitting them, but she wants her actions to reinforce and reflect how commit she is to Chuck. To them. No second guesses. No playing it safe. She's going to bet it all on a single hand.

"Hit me," She orders the dealer. He obliges her and deals the third card.

Blair goes bust on the King of Spades.

For a moment she's in shock. This isn't how it was supposed to go; the next card should have been a nine, any nine. Or one of the smaller cards, so she could work her way up to the perfect score or at the very least win. Because that what's betting on Chuck and Blair is this time: a guaranteed win. Blair hastily reminds herself that signs are for the religious, the superstitious and the lower classes. Besides, blackjack has never been her game and of course she was going to lose without Jack there to tilt the odds in her favour.

Before she can over-think what had just occurred, she catches Chuck's eye. The intensity in his gaze takes her breath away. She sees awe, lust and love dancing in his dark orbs. He grasps her hand tightly in her, hands the chips he scooped off the table to Jack and drags her all the way to his suite.

The second they're through the door he's on her, kissing and groping her urgently. She feels giddy on the sudden rush of emotions which are running through her veins. Soon she's consumed by the old fire that she knows and loves. But Blair wants to take this slow; she wants their clothes off so she can feel him and take her time to enjoy all the ways that they will show each other their love. They have all the time in the world now, so she doesn't want their first coupling to be full of desperation as if it will be there last. It won't; not this time, not ever. Blair Waldorf is playing for keeps and she has no intention of losing. Chuck, however, wouldn't be slowed, so Blair gives in to what he wants.

'_I owe him this_,' She reminds herself, '_After everything I put him through. I owe him this._'

Next time, she promises herself, she'll get what she wants. Being together means that they will both get what they want.

At least it will this time.

xxx

It's the next morning, when they're eating the breakfast that he ordered to the room, that Chuck declares that they should make a pact. Although Blair will never admit it, it's pieces of croissant in her mouth that prevents her from screaming as he lists all the obstacles in their way and all the things they need to achieve before they can be together.

"I want to do this right. I want to get this right. This is going to be it for us. And once we done all of this, when we're in that next place, then we can finally be together. Always and forever," He professes, as his hand gentle cups her face. She wonders if he can feel the tension in her jaw, as she keeps her protests captive in her mouth.

She's desperately trying to focus on him whilst contorting her face into a look of understanding and agreement, but it's such a hard thing to do when her mind is yelling. At her. At him.

'_You left Dan. You left your stable relationship with Dan. You left everything to be with Him. Not the idea of him. Say something. Tell him. Tell him what you want_.'

Blair doesn't say a word of protest. Instead she agrees that it's the right decision for them, kisses him gently on the cheek and excuses herself to take shower. She's glad that he won't be able to hear her tears of disappointment over the pounding water. Her traitorous mind recalls her promise to her mother that she had no loose ends left in her life.

'_This isn't a loose end_,' She snaps back, '_Not really. Chuck and I will be together. When the time's right and we're ready then we will be together for good_.'

'_And when exactly will that be_?' A voice mocks back and for a moment, she thinks it sounds a lot like a boy she left in Brooklyn.

xxx

She needs sleep more than anything else in the world right now. Yet no matter what she tries, her mind won't give her any rest. Thoughts constantly swarm through her head, bringing a plague of doubts which shakes her confidence in her world. Shakes her confidence in the plan which will guarantee her a future with Chuck. The future she wants.

"And it is the future I want," She growls at the dark room, as if this will be enough to chase away the shadows and bring her peace.

Blair groans in frustration and curls her body into a tight ball under the sheets in an attempt to make herself feel impenetrable. To make herself feel safe and secure once again. She spies the ring softly glinting in gloom from where she left it on the bedside table. Before she left Monte Carlo, Chuck had brought her an elegantly simplistic gold chain, which he carefully attached the ring to before sliding it around her neck.

It was her reminder of their promise and their pact.

Then he kissed her firmly on the lips one last time before leaving with Jack. This was two weeks ago. At first she had worn the ring all the time, hidden discretely under her clothes like a secret that she alone could know. One night, she's woken suddenly from a fitful sleep gasping for breath as if someone had been trying to choke her. Her hands rushed to her neck to discover that the golden chain had slowly twisted itself tighter as she'd tossed and turned. She wrenched the thing off her neck and flung it away. She should have insisted that Chuck brought himself a hazardous accessory to constantly wear as reminder of _their_ pact. Why was she the only one burned with wearing the symbolic promise of their future together? Why, after everything, was their relationship still only symbolic?

Blair sat there, her breath ragged and her fists clenched in rage. Once she'd calmed down, she told herself that she's only thinking such things because of the sleep deprivation. She loves Chuck with every fibre of her being, so it shouldn't bother her that she needs to be patient a little while longer. He's worth the wait. They're worth the wait. It's all worth it. The ring is not a chain that's tying her to him alone, but a vow of their wonderful future together. Ever since that night, however, she's carefully taken the necklace off before getting into the bed. She doggedly ignores the feeling of relief at having the weight of it off her chest. She tells herself that she's only doing it to be safe. Because it's the sensible and adult thing to do.

'_I've made the right choice. I've made the right choice. I've made the right choice_.'

xxx

During her days in Paris, she buries herself into her work. It's a welcome distraction from her complicated thoughts and there's so much for her to learn. She doesn't know how she would cope if it wasn't for coffee, caffeine pills and the ever charming and patient Jean-Pierre. Between juggling a hectic workload, learning copious amount of new information (who knew that running a fashion empire was so complex) and her mother's constant belittling, Jean-Pierre has become her lifeline. She doesn't know what she would do without him. And every time he appears at just the right moment with the thing that she needs, like another cup of coffee or the folder filled with designs, she has to stop her from calling him by another person's surname. The person she can no longer think about or be in her life for her to rely on. She tries not to think about his self-deprecating grin and untameable dark hair, because it hurts and she doesn't have the time to focus on past. It's all about the future.

'_I've made the right choice. I've made the right choice. I've made the right choice_.'

She hates it when she's alone. She's staying her mother's apartment in the heart of Paris and, once the help goes home in evening, Blair's the only one there. She tries to distract herself with bits of work that she brings home, books and films. But her choices in the latter two are limited, as she doesn't want to touch anything which will remind her of _him_ in any way. It wasn't until she was almost screaming in frustration when she tried to choose just one single book or film from vast collection her mother had acquired, that she realised how much of an impact he'd had on her tastes. Or maybe his tastes where so similar to hers to begin with and she'd just failed to register it before now.

There's no one here to confide in. Jean-Pierre already helps her so much at work, that she doesn't want him to realise how inept she is with her personal life. She doesn't want him to start doubting that she can do this, that she can one day run Waldorf Designs. Blair needs his belief in her and his encouragement in order to keep it together. To keep breathing.

She speaks Chuck regularly, however, they're always hurried conversation because there's somewhere else that he's got to be. A backdoor poker game, a person to blackmail, a business meeting; it's more important than any trivial problem in her life. He never says so directly, but she knows the different tones of his voice well enough to know that he's thinking it. Just like he's thinking that she should be able to cope with her new responsibilities; she's clever and able enough, so this shouldn't be a problem for her. She tries her best to gloss over any issues she's currently having and writes them off as not being a big deal. When she does acknowledge them, she ends up feeling like a failure. That she's failing her mother and Chuck. That she's failing herself.

Dorota can only be detained on the phone for so long and only at certain hours during the day. The time difference, and the fact that Dorota has a family, prevents Blair from monopolising her attention. Also, Blair finds it a relief that she can only talk to the person who knows her best for a short amount each time. Dorota always knows when she's lying, especially to herself. And Blair always knows when Dorota's worried, even if the maid is trying to hide it.

She called Nate once or twice to check in. When he asks how she is, she feels lies after breezy lie slipping off her tongue. She's left with very little desire to call him more regularly, especially after the incident when she asked if he'd heard from Humphrey. The question just slide out of her mouth before she could stop it. There was a prolonged pause on the other end of the line before she heard Nate's sigh.

"I haven't. You need to give him space Blair. You can't expect him to talk to you. Not after everything that's happened." His replied very diplomatically and she kind of hated him for it, especially when he suddenly added, "I haven't heard from Serena either."

She'd swiftly ended their conversation there by pretending she's late for dinner. She hates herself for not thinking about Serena. Then she reminds herself that she has no reason to think about Serena, or care about her, after what she did. She tries to focuses on hating Serena, because it's always been an easier emotion for her to deal with than missing her former bestfriend.

Blair tries to focus her mind onto the task at hand. Her mother, despite apparent lack of faith now, believed that she was capable of running the company. She'd said that her daughter was mature enough and had attributed this development to her divorce. And her divorce alone. Not her miscarriage.

She still feels a twinge of pain when she thinks of the baby that she had lost. Like a wound that hasn't been given the proper time to heal. Her loss was overshadowed by everything else; the men in her life, her wedding, her first ever pact with god. Unconsciously, she places a hand on her immaculately flat stomach. If the accident had never happened, her child would be with her now. Blair wonders what their lives would be like. What kind of mother she would be to her little boy or girl? Which man would the child know as their father? That time she'd run away from one man to be with Chuck, because Chuck had decided that he didn't care who the child's biological father was. But that had only happened because of Humphrey. Because Humphrey wanted her to be happy.

She recalls standing in the loft whilst Dan confessed that it wouldn't matter to him who the father of her child was. She feels a pang of sorrow as she also remembers the fact that he had once swore that even if she lost everything, she would still have him. Dan was the only one she really talked to about the miscarriage. He had some previous experience about what it felt like to lose a child. There was a time in her life when Dan Humphrey was the only person she could confide in and now he was gone.

Her fingers curl around the phone as she furiously scrolls through the contact list for his number. She calls him most days, twice if she's feeling particularly masochistic. Sometimes she hangs up when she hears the familiar pre-recorded greeting and sometimes she will leave him a message. She emails him frequently, but lately she's just been sending copies of the previously typed emails. She's pretty sure he's ignoring all of her attempts at communicating with him; it's the only way to explain why he hasn't replied.

Blair listens carefully to the rings before the inevitable click as her call is forwarded to voicemail. Her anger keeps building. He promised her that he would always be there, but right now she has no one. His voice instructing her to leave a message after the tone makes her rage even stronger.

"Why won't pick up?" She shouts at the phone, her heart and voice beginning to break under the weight of her emotions. "I need you. You said that you would always be here. You said that if I lost everything, then I would still have you. You promised. And I need you now, I need my friend, but you're not here. Why aren't you here? Why won't you talk to me?"

It's her own sobs that cut her off and she stabs the 'end call' button before she lets the phone fall out of her hand. This isn't how it was meant to go. She's meant to be with Chuck and have everything she needs. She's not meant to miss Dan. The thought of him isn't suppose to make her feel so hollow. She ignores the part of her mind which notes her hypocrisy and focuses on the fact that Dan broke his promise to her. Like Serena, her feelings for Dan are much easier to deal with, so long as she focuses purely on the anger.

'_I've made the right choice. I've made the right choice. I've made the right choice_.'

xxx

To say that Nate's text takes her by surprise is an understatement. She only wanted Serena to disappear from her life, not the planet. Blair refuses to acknowledge why her first though is that the blonde must be in Rome and why the idea bothers her so much. Even though she hasn't known Jean-Pierre for long, he's still able to see that she wants to go back to New York to find Serena. She's is, however, fairly certain that he hasn't worked out the true cause for her feelings of guilt. Yet again, he takes care of her by booking her a flight home and Blair makes a mental note that she needs to find some way to repay him for everything he's done this summer. She's quick to call Humphrey, telling herself that he would want to help Serena.

Hearing the electronically female voice inform her that the number she's dialled is no longer in service makes her feel like someone has punched her in the gut.

She sends him an email and marks it as urgent. Later she realises that all her previous emails had also been flagged as urgent, so it's not going to make him anymore inclined to read the latest one. She quickly types a new one, with **'This is not about me - Serena needs your help' **written in the subject line.

The new email bounces back straight away.

This time she feels the hollowness growing larger in her soul. Until now, she hadn't really taken the time to acknowledge that Humphrey want nothing more to do with her. That there's not even the slightest chance that she can have him back in her life. For years she coped without Humphrey in her world, but now she doesn't know how to stop the pain caused by losing him. She needs to find a way to stop it before it consumes her.

'_I've made the right choice. I've made the right choice. I've made the right choice_.'

xxx

The second she sees Chuck outside of The Palace she flings her arms around him and holds him close. It's the first time she's seen him in months and she doesn't care that he's only here for Serena. Not really. He strokes her hair and promises her that they will find their missing friend. She pretends that it's only concern for Serena's well being that makes her cling to him so desperately. Like a little lost child that has finally been found and knows that they will soon be safely home.

After Nate bribes Gossip Girl, they manage to find Serena. And ruin all the lies that she's constructed in order to create a new life for herself. She knows that she's humiliated Serena and, even though Blair's not really surprised that S doesn't want her back into her life, the rejection still stings. It always does.

She rides back to New York with Chuck, feeling lower than ever. Nothing in her life is going right. She tries to persuade him that the pact is unnecessary. They don't need it. What they need is for them to be together.

'_What I need if for us to be together. If I don't have us, then I have nothing left_.'

But Chuck insists that the pact must stand. He needs to become a real man in order to be with her. He promises that he would give up everything for her. He promises that they will be together. He promises that it will be perfect this time. She doesn't want his promises; they all sound so empty, like he's stalling for time. She needs to be with him now, because she needs one tangible thing in her life whilst her world slowly collapses around her. She's tired of building this future out of cards; she needs him to help her build it from stone.

But she chokes on these words as he gently kisses the ring like he's swearing allegiance to their promised future. He leaves her alone in the limo and she orders the driver to take her home. Once the limo's drops her off, Blair makes sure it's out of sight before hailing a taxi. She instructs this driver to take her to Brooklyn.

This is how she finds herself at midnight sitting in a cab outside of his loft.

Blair stares longingly up at the dark window, as she resists the urge to go inside. She wants to knock on his door again and wait for it to be opened, welcoming her back inside. Or, if no one's home, let herself in with the spare key that's hidden outside. She'll just walk inside her sanctuary and once more she'll feel safe. Here she'll find her centre again. Maybe she'll go into his room, curl up under his covers and the scent of him will stop her feeling so alone. So utterly unwanted.

"You alright, ma'am?" The driver inquires with a hint of concern in his voice.

"I just need a bit longer," She replies without looking at him.

It's her buzzing of her phone which finally makes her look away. She looks down to find a new blast from Gossip Girl, the content of which makes her heart stop for moment.

**Spotted!**

**Looks like inspiration isn't the only thing Lonely Boy found in Rome. Maybe a strong woman is the best way to mend a heart broken by an indecisive girl. **

**xoxo **

There are three photos which have been taking inside of an airport and they're all of Dan with an attractive dark-haired woman. In the first one, she has her hand placed affectionately on his cheek. In the next, they're hugging. And the last one is of her kissing his cheek. There's no disguising the intimacy between the two.

Blair's hit by a sudden wave of nausea. As the tears start to sting her eyes, she demands that the driver takes her back to Manhattan. She shoots the poor man a withering glare when he asks her about what has upset her. She mentally declares that Dan Humphrey is dead to her – she's not going to acknowledge that he was ever a part of her life. If she ignores his very existence, then the jumble of emotions that attack her each time she thinks of him will go away to. They have to, because he no longer matters.

She needs to set aside silly distractions, like him and Serena, and focus on her job. Once she succeeds there and Chuck has resolved all his issues, then they will be together. Then she will be happy once more.

'_I am Blair Waldorf. I'm strong, smart and capable. There is nothing that I cannot achieve_,' She forcibly reminds herself. '_Chuck and I will be together and then I will be happy again. Until then, I must ensure that everything goes to plan. Because it won't be long now_.'

The bright lights of New York sparkle at her as the cab drives by. The city hums with people and life. This is her domain; this is where she will succeed.

"It won't be long now," She whispers to herself. "You've made the right choice."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Firstly, a big thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter - I really appreciate that you took the time to leave feedback. This chapter and the next one are both from Dan's POV - this one is more of a set up chapter; introducing some OCs and establishing the foundations for later plot developments. I should have the next chapter up tomorrow. In my own personal head-cannon, Dan transferred to Columbia around season 4 and has never dropped out of University. In my defence a) I can't remember who is supposed to be at Uni/when they dropped out, because the show constantly forgot to show anyone attending any classes/mention their academic lives and b) the show never cared about the status of its characters' education, so I don't feels bad about messing with the pre-season 6 cannon for this area!

xxx

As the sun slowly creeps into his room, Dan wakes to the gentle hum of Brooklyn traffic and the smell of waffles. He groans and tries to stretch the last remnants of sleep from his body. He doesn't get out of bed straight away; he just lies there and mentally prepares himself for what he needs to do. All those steps he's planning to take in order to rebuild his world from the ground up.

Eventually he gets up, pulls his robe around his body and walks towards the kitchen. Amidst the cooking steam and the gurgling coffee machine stands his father, who smiles brightly at him.

"Welcome home son," Rufus greets him, sliding a plate of food and a cup of coffee in his direction.

"Thanks."

"How are you feeling?"

"A combination of tiredness and jet lag, but other than that, I'm feeling great."

His dad looks relieved as he takes a sip of his own coffee. Neither of them have mentioned the two names beginning with B or C throughout the whole summer. Dan's pretty certain that his dad will continue to avoid the subject in his present as long as his son wants; this is something that Dan will be eternally grateful for.

"Lily and I got you a welcome home gift."

His dad slides over a plastic bag which has been wrapped around a small rectangular box. Dan opens it up to find a new cell phone inside.

"Thanks. This is just what I need."

"You're welcome. It's comes with a new number as well. Just don't drop this one into any beer ok?" His dad gives him a half teasing, half knowing looking.

"I won't. So how are things with you and Lily?"

Dan works his way through his breakfast and another cup of coffee whilst his Dad fills him in on all the things he's missed. Despite at time doubting how good his dad's relationship with Lily was for Rufus, Dan's glad that they're managing to work through their problems. It seems that Lily's decided that husband number five is a keeper and Rufus seems more at ease than he has in months. His dad tells him about how he found Ivy a job and a new apartment before he got her out of their lives. Also that Serena has a new boyfriend, an older man with a daughter, and because Serena seems happy and the relationship is helping her to mature, Lily's agreed with him not to interfere. His dad and Lily have also agreed to stay clear of Bart Bass once Lily got her marriage to her once-dead husband annulled.

"So what are your plans for the rest of the day?" Rufus inquires, his hands in the soapy washing up water, whilst Dan stands at his side drying the crockery with a dishcloth.

"Well, I'm actually going to see an apartment," Dan admits to his father, as he carefully watches the other man's face for his reaction. "I'm planning to move in with some other students, as I've decided it would be easier for me to live closer to campus this year. And it would be good for me to meet new people. Expand my horizons. You know, that whole true college experience stuff."

There's a pause and Dan can tell from his dad's face that Rufus is trying to think of the right thing to say. "Are you sure that this is what you want?"

"Yes it is. I'm doing it for me, dad, no one else."

xxx

Dan presses the buzzer and waits on the top step for someone to answer. He already likes the look of the pre-war apartment building from the outside and it's within perfect walking distance from campus. From the emails he's exchanged, the girl who lives here seems like a really nice person and the photos of the flat look great. Of course he hasn't seen it in person yet, nor has he meet her or even spoken to the other male roommate.

"Hello?" A voice crackles over the intercom.

"Hi is that Tove?"

"Yes."

"Hi it's Dan Humphrey. I'm here about the spare room."

"Oh, yes, hi. Come right up."

There's another buzz and a metallic click as the door to the apartment block opens. Dan decides to climb the stairs to the third floor and finds a girl with pale skin, brilliantly blonde hair and a warm smile standing in the doorway of apartment 303.

"Hi Dan, I'm Tove. It's so good to finally meet you," She greets him enthusiastically and shakes his hand; Dan notes a slight accent as she speaks. "Come in."

Dan feels his smile widening on his face as he follows her in, her eagerness quickly infecting him as well. She gives him the grand tour; the main living space contains is an open planned kitchen and sitting room, complete with dining table and large faux-leather couch directed at a big screen TV. The bathroom is also a decent size and well maintained. She briefly shows him hers and Freddie's – the other roommate - rooms. Finally she leads him into the spare room. It's a light and airy space; the walls have been painted in a neutral off-white colour and there's a double bed in the middle. On the left hand side there's a large inbuilt wardrobe, along with a chest of draws. But what Dan's most pleased to see is the desk by the window. It's a sizable and study looking wooden desk with a black faux-leather chair. Above it, two long shelves have been nailed into the wall and there's also a wide bookshelf on the other side of the window.

"What do you think?" Tove asks after she gives him a moment to inspect the room.

"I like it. I like it a lot."

"The landlord's pretty cool. We can't paint the rooms, but he's fine with us putting up posters and pictures so long as we filling in any holes before we leave. And me and Freddie will be happy to help you move the furniture around, so you can have it however you like it. How about we go into the living room, grab some coffee and I'll answer any questions you have?"

"That sounds great."

The whole time he's been here, Tove's been smiling none stop and has been more than happy to answer his questions. He hopes this means that she likes him, because he's already beginning to feel comfortable sitting on the couch, sipping at his coffee and talking to her. When he asks her what Freddie's like, she tells him that he's very sarcastic, but a lovely guy and a great roommate and friend.

"That's him." She hands Dan a picture, pointing at the tall guy standing next to her, his dark skin and hair making Tove's look even paler. She then points to the other three people in photo and introduces them as Neela, Alison and Mason. "Alison is Freddie's girlfriend. If he's not in around then, more likely than not, he's either in class, at the library or with her. She's another Engineering major. Their children are destined to have a deep understanding of physics and come with their own hard hats."

He chuckles at her comment, her fondness for the pair evident in her tone. "How long have you guys known each other?"

"Since we were freshman. Neela was my roommate, and Freddie and Mason lived just down the corridor from us in Halls. Nicholas Mason is he's proper name, but we all call him Mason. Freddie met Alison in class, and then he integrated her into our group whilst he worked up the courage to ask her out. It took him almost a semester and a half." She laughs and then adds in a slightly more serious tone, "It's because of them and Mason that we introduced a rule that there would be no dating or sleeping with other members of the group unless both parties were serious. Neela said it was best to stop things getting messy and incestuous."

"Mason's a bit of a player then?"

"I love him, but he should be banned from women. He is a personal affront to our gender. You see that painting?" Tove gestures towards the wall opposite the front door. On it hangs a painting that Dan had admired when he'd first entered the room. It of a couple, silhouetted against the backdrop of the city at night, as they take refuge under a large black umbrella. The watercolours give the illusion that the rain is slowing washing the couple and New York away. "If I didn't know how talented he was, I would have assumed that Nicholas was only using the artist thing as a way to get laid."

She pauses for a moment and drinks a mouthful of coffee, before she asks her next question. "So how come you're looking so late for somewhere to live."

Dan hesitates slightly, debating how much to tell her. Like Siobhan, he's quickly felt comfortable in Tove's company, as if they weren't just meeting for the first time. "I wanted a fresh start before my final year and to meet new people. I haven't really made that many close friends at Columbia."

He sees a flash of empathy cross her face. "Well I'm sure that's going to change soon."

Dan offers her a small smile in return for her kind words, and then shifts his focus to the DVDs surrounding the TV. He gets up to inspect the vast collection more closely, spying many familiar titles alongside films and shows he's never seen before. He selects one from the shelf. "Is this any good?"

"_Troll Hunter_? Yeah it's good. It's a lot fun. Do you want watch it?"

"Sure, why not."

They're halfway through the film when Tove's phone rings. She checks the caller ID, before pausing the film with an apologetic glance at Dan. "Sorry, it's Freddie."

"It's fine."

"Hello old friend," She cheerfully answers the call and pauses as she listen to the person on the other end. "Yes Dan's been to look round and he's still here as we speak." There's another pause before she states firmly, "Yeah, we're keeping him." Tove pulls the phone away from the mouth and looks directly at Dan. "I mean, if that's ok with you."

"It is. It really is ok with me." He agrees.

"Good. Good. Did you hear that?" She asks into the phone. "Great. Dan and I will see you when you get back then. Bye!"

Tove grins at him as she hangs up the phone, her striking blue filled with excitement and Dan knows that he's grinning back. "How about we finish the film and then discuss when you're going to move in over celebratory drinks?"

"Sounds perfect."

xxx

By the end of the week, Dan's pack up his things in the loft and is carrying boxes down to the removal van. His dad, Lily and Tove have all come round to lend him a hand, although whilst Tove and Rufus actually do some of the heaving lifting, Lily just _supervises_ the two removal guys.

"After how much she just spend on that manicure, it would be a waste if something were to happened to those nails," Rufus whispers in his son's ear and gives him a wink as he carries off another box.

Once everything is in the van, Tove offers to go and hail a taxi whilst Dan says his goodbyes. "It was nice to meet you, Mr and Mrs Humphrey. You'll have to come round once Dan's settled in."

Rufus goes to correct her, but Lily cuts him off. "That sounds like a lovely idea Tove."

Both the Humphrey men exchange a look, but neither says a word. Once Tove is out of earshot, Lily turns to Dan with a smile. "She seems like a very nice girl."

"She is," Dan agrees, knowing full well what Lily's tone is is implying, "But I am definitely not her type."

He hugs both of them, promising to talk to them soon and then heads outside to where his new roommate is waiting for him in a cab.

The van is already park outside the apartment building and the men are beginning to unload the boxes. Once they had agreed on the date for Dan to move in, Tove had asked her friend Neela to wait at the apartment for the van. They both grab a box before catching the elevator up to the third floor, where they find Neela waiting by the open door.

"You must be Dan?" She greets him with a smile. "It's so good to meet you. Especially after Tove's spent so long gushing about you over the phone."

"Well he is very gush worth," Tove defends herself, sticking her tongue playfully out at her friend.

"I'm sure he is."

The easy banter between the two continues throughout the afternoon, whilst the van is finally emptied and Dan begins to unpack his things in his room. He quickly finds himself joining in, amazed at how easily the conversation just keeps flowing between the three of them. He lets them unpack his books and DVD collection, making a mental note whilst he watches the girls place them on the bookcase and shelves to properly organise them later. As Dan begins to places his clothes into the chest of draws and wardrobe, Neela retrieves three cold beers from the fringe, passes them around, before settling onto his freshly made bed next to Tove.

He learns that Neela is a Theatre major who's discovered that she has a talent for special effects and stage make-up. She's spent most of her summer in New York doing internships and some freelance work for small film and theatre production companies. Yesterday, she'd finished working on a student's short film and for the last scene she'd had to make it look like the lead actresses' throat had been slashed open.

"He kept demanding more and more fake blood. I can guarantee that by the time she got the stuff off her skin and out of her hair, the bathroom would have looked like a massacre had taken place in there."

Dan laughs at her comment as he pushes the last unopened box to the back of his cupboard.

"Are you not going to unpack that?" Tove asks.

Inside this box, Dan has put everything that reminds him of Blair. All things that he wants to keep, but isn't ready to deal with the memories associated with them yet. He felt slightly saddened when he'd first packed the box up and sealed it with tape; that everything about their relationship could be packed neatly away into one plain cardboard box. A part of him wishes that life really was that simple; that everything you didn't want to confront – your past, mistakes, regrets, fears and insecurities – could be sealed inside a single box and hidden away.

He shakes his head at Tove. "I will at some point, just not yet. Do you guys want another beer?"

Both the girls accept and he goes to grab three more from the fridge. He knows that if the others are as friendly and welcoming as the two girls in his room, then his final year at Columbia is going to be the best.

xxx

He meets Freddie and Alison a week before the start of classes. Tove has dragged him reluctantly out of bed, reminding him that it was his ideas that he joined her for a morning run. She tells him that she thinks she'd heard Freddie coming in late last night. When she knocks on his door, she's greeted by two loud moans.

"Unless the whole apartment is on fire right now, then I'm not getting up. And it's got to be the whole apartment – if it's just an appliance or you Tove, then I will deal with it at a later time. For now, just leave me in peace," A grumpy voice replies from inside the room.

Tove grins at Dan as they begin to head out of the front door. "And that's Freddie."

After an hour of jogging, Dan and Tove arrive back at flat to find Alison and Freddie eating breakfast at the kitchen counter. They both look bleary eyed, as they sip away at their coffee and eat their bagels. Alison gives them a smile and a small wave when she sees them, whilst Freddie just grunts.

"Freddie!" Alison scolds lightly, "That's no way to greet your new roommate."

"I will greet Dan properly once the wonderful effects of caffeine start settling in. Anyway, this is Tove's fault."

"Is not," Tove retorts cheerily as she heads towards the bathroom.

"Is too," Freddie replies childishly and Alison just rolls her eyes at him.

She grabs a glass from the cupboard, fills it with water and hands it to Dan. "You could probably do with this. It's good to meet you Dan, I'm Alison and that's the ever charming Freddie."

"I'm sure he already knows," Dan hears Freddie mumble into his mug.

Alison chooses to ignore this comment and gestures for Dan to take a seat next to her, as he waits for the shower to become free. "So how are you finding living here so far?"

xxx

Three days after, Mason finally turns up with a crate of beer and tales of a summer spent backpacking around Europe. He regales them with stories about the places he went, the people he met, the girls he slept with and the things he got up to.

"It's only really an offense when the police actually catch you. So long as you know how to run fast, even when naked, you will stay a free man," He quips smugly, taking a long drag of beer, whilst the others roll their eyes.

Dan looks at Mason's photos and feels a twinge of jealously at how many amazing places the other guy got to experience. He's particularly drawn to a panoramic shoot of Edinburgh, with the proud castle in the centre surround by all the other grand old buildings. The whole group of friends stay up late that night, just lounging together in front of the TV, whilst they chat and getting to know Dan better. It's almost three in the morning before Neela decides that she should leave. Mason quickly offers to walk her home and Tove hands him a wad of cash that she'd collected from her bedroom.

"You, Tove, are beautiful Swedish goddess," Mason tells, pulling her into a tight hug and kisses her on the head.

"Well enjoy it, because it's the last time I'm going to play with your money."

He frowns at this, disappointment evident on his face. "But why? I trust you."

Tove sadly shakes her head. "It puts me on edge. I'm happy to play online blackjack for you if need the extra cash."

Mason reluctantly agrees before Neela and him wish the others goodnight.

"What was that about?" Dan asks Tove, curious about her previous conversation.

"Oh, I play poker every now again."

"Tove's being modest – what she meant to say is that she's a poker wizard and that she could go pro," Freddie interjects.

Tove just shrugs. "I only do it because I enjoy it. And I usually just play with the money that I've won."

After helping to clear up, Freddie and Alison decide to turn in for the night. When it's just the two of them left, Tove gently puts a hand on Dan's arm and gives it a reassuring squeeze. "So what do you think of our merry little band?"

"I think you're great." He turns to pulls her into a hug that she immediately reciprocates. "Thanks for letting me be a part of it."

"Thanks for being a part of it. Night Dan."

As he watches her walk into her room, Dan just smiles at the knowledge that he's found somewhere that he belongs.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews - please keep them coming. This is still unbetaed so all mistakes are my own. I know that I've introduced quite a few OCs recently, but I'm trying to create a world for Dan which is away from UES and the people in it. Hopefully I'm managing to make them characters in their own right, not too annoying and not just plot devices. There's finally some interaction with certain core characters in this chapter. It might take me a while to update as a) the next chapter is Blair and I find her really hard to write and b) I'm going on holiday! Hope you enjoy this part - it is a long one.

xxx

When classes start, Dan is happy to dive right into University life. He's found a good balance between his workload, writing his novel and hanging out with his new friends. Apartment 303 is the unofficial headquarters for the group, but they frequently meet up outside the flat as well.

Halfway through the second week of term, Dan goes with Tove to a bar. It's just the two of them for once, as the others couldn't make it. Tove's almost finished her first drink, laughing along with Dan as he tells her about his day, when her face suddenly falls. Dan's never seen her look so upset before and he turns round to seeing a beautiful Asian girl staring at his friend from across the room. She's got her arm wrapped tightly around a dark-blonde girl, who is fawning over her and is seemly oblivious to the fact that her companion is staring intensely at Tove.

Dan turns back and sees the pain clearly etched into Tove's blue eyes. Tove's attention snaps back to him once he places his hand over hers. "Do you want to leave?"

She just nods in agreement and they walk out of the bar, still holding each other's hand.

"Ex?" Dan asks her when they've put a decent distance between themselves and the bar.

"Yes and that was the first time I've seen here since the very nasty breakup."

As they walk home, Tove tells him all about Jenna. About how they met and dated for almost four months before Tove found out about Jenna's girlfriend of two years. Tove broke up with her the second that she discovered that she was the other woman. There are tears in Tove's eyes when she admits that she'd loved her. Dan listens closely and pulls her into a hug once they're back home. With beers in hand, they sit down on the couch and talk about their past relationships.

"We both have really bad taste in woman," Tove observes after Dan finishes telling her all about his relationship with Blair.

"Well I guess that's just another thing we have in common," He agrees, "That and the fact that we find intelligence sexy."

She nods in agreement, moving forward to clink her beer bottle against his and Dan's happy to see Tove smiling again.

The others find out how messy his past romances were over a late night game of _'Never have I ever'_. This leads to Mason and Neela having a heated debate about whether Dan had actually _really_ cheated on Blair with Serena; this was due to that fact that Blair had left him, without breaking up first, to be with Chuck. The night ends with Neela refusing to talk to Mason until he apologises for being a dick and Dan learning a lot more about his new found friends.

Without meaning to, Dan spends the most time with Tove, just hanging out, chatting over meals and running together in the mornings. She's teaches him how to play chess and to become a better poker player. Out of the entire group, she's the one who knows him the best and he has a feeling that this will always be the case. The only time he spends with alone with Alison is when she's waiting for Freddie to get back or during the occasional coffee she'll insist on when they run into each other on campus. She's definitely the unofficial mother of the group; she likes to make sure that everyone's ok, is always willing to lend an ear when needed and tries her best not to fuss. Freddie jokes that Alison is the person you ring at 3am for bail money, because you know that she'll show up, even though she'll have a disapproving look on her face and a lecture already rehearsed in her head.

The first time he just hangs out with Neela, he ends up sat on a chair whilst she gently brushes and blends make-up on his face, as she tries to the find the best method to make him look like a cancer patient. It's for a play on campus and, as he's got the same complexion as the actor, Dan's the perfect guinea pig. She then surprises him at the weekend and takes him to an exhibition at MOMA to say thanks. It's one that he's been meaning to see and yet he's been putting off because of the slight chance that he might run into a certain brunette. When he asks Neela about what made her decided to bring him to this particular exhibition, she tells him, with a slightly shy look on her face, about how she found the dog-eared page when flicking through his New York magazine.

When Dan spends time with Freddie or Mason, it's usually with them both. Mostly they just meet for a quick drink at a bar near campus or hang out in the apartment watching TV or playing videogames. At first, Mason constantly makes snide remarks towards Dan under the veiled pretence of friendly teasing. When Dan mentions this to Freddie, his roommates reassures him that Mason isn't a complete ass and that he'll back off once he's used to the change to the group's dynamic. Dan starts to see Mason as an actual friend the night that he turns up at the apartment, looking for a place to crash. Everyone else is out and Mason avoids direct eye contact when he asks Dan for the favour, and offers him a six-pack of beer. Apparently Mason's roommate is passed out drunk on their living room floor and he doesn't want to sleep in the flat which smells of alcohol and puke. Dan agrees to let him stay on the couch and with that one gesture, Mason's hostility towards him begins to drift away. After several beers and two hours of playing Halo, he even apologises to Dan for being a dick.

Dan is finally getting better acquainted with his fellow English majors and other random students on campus. Finally he's making friends with people who never went to Constance or St Jude's.

xxx

"Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling," Siobhan answers her phone joyfully. Her singing is slurred and her accent is coming across very thick. There's a lot of noise in the background. "Why aren't you here?"

Dan leans back in his chair with an affectionate smile on his face. "Because I'm in New York?"

"Puff!" She huffs dramatically, "That old excuse!"

"You're drunk aren't you?"

"What gave me away? The singing?" She laughs loudly, "Yeah I'm drunk. I'm in a pub in Dublin, feeling like a wonderful cliché. And how are you? How goes the novel?"

They spend the next hour filling each other in on their lives. He happy to hear that her novel is coming along nicely and that it should be published in time for Christmas.

"I think that they're going to advertise it as the perfect antidote to all that Christmas cheer. The perfect gift for people who would rather stay depressed in the face of festivities and good will to all men."

She promises to send him one of the first copies and he offers to do the same. Thankfully the publishers have been understanding about Dan's desire to focus on his education and have agreed not to pressure him as long as he keeps Alessandra up-to-date with his progress. He's fairly certain that he'll have his second novel finished around the start of next year.

"I'm glad that everything is going according to plan. You deserve some good fortune," Siobhan tells him sincerely, "Now I better get going. Talk soon. Bye love."

"Bye Siobhan."

xxx

Dan's heading towards the library after one of his classes when literary runs into Nate. They stand there, staring at each other, both unsure what exactly to say. Nate's the first one to break the silence.

"Dan, it's good to see you man. How have you been?"

"Good, really good." Dan knows he's being vague, but he really doesn't know what to say. Out of all the things he's planned for his new life, he's never really thought about what he would do or say if runs into someone from his old life. After a moment, he goes for the safest option, "How are you?"

"I'm good," His old friend laughs nervously, the situation clearly awkward for both of them. "Do you want to grab a drink or something? Catch up?"

It's Dan's hesitation that causes a slightly hurt look to cross Nate's face. Nate begins to mumble an excuse to leave, when Dan tells him that there's a great place for coffee just round the corner if he has time for a quick one. Dan's glad to see Nate's friendly smile again.

They manage to skirt around their love lives and the Upper East Side whilst they chat. Nate doesn't question why he's backed away from his old life and served his ties to it. Dan's unsure whether he's avoiding the topic because he's worried it'll cause tension between them or because he understands Dan's reasons. Nate also knows what it's like to play a supporting role in Chuck and Blair's saga. As Dan listens to Nate talk about how his life is and the demands of running a struggling paper, it dawns on him just how much he's missed his friend. After a long internal debate and after he makes Nate swear not to pass it on to anyone else, Dan gives Nate his new number. Nate saves the number under the alias of Henry Daniels.

"You never know," Nate says with a smile, "Maybe one day he'll be a character in one of your books."

xxx

Dan feels Neela's fingers tips gently touch his cheek as she carefully checks her handiwork. Finally she gives him the nod of approval and declares that she's finished. Dan looks at himself in the mirror. The contacts make his eyes a milky-white, his face is pale and veiny, and there's fake skin lying ripped around his mouth exposing the painted on jaw muscles and teeth. To top it off, there's a lot of strategically placed fake blood around the wound and dribbling down his chin. Dan's never sat still for so long, but he's glad that he patiently did so. Neela has transformed him into an amazing looking zombie. He's dressed in an old ripped suite, which has been muddied and bloodied, all in the name of Halloween.

"Wow, it looks great," He tells her. "Thank you for doing this."

"You're welcome," She replies, still managing to unnerve him slightly as she stands before him dressed up as the stage version of the Woman in Black.

They join the others in the living room. Tove's decided to go as Judge Anderson. Alison is decked out in World War II clothing with a gas masking on her face, asking people if they're her mommy. Freddie's dressed as Nick Fury despite his girlfriend's protest about shaving off his hair, whilst Mason has made the least amount of effort in his Edward Cullen getup.

"What?" He protests when he sees their judging looks, "Unlike Dan, I would still like to have the opportunity to get laid."

"Twenty bucks says Dan can still pick up a girl whilst dressed as a hideous Zombie," Freddie challenges, putting on his best Nick Fury impression.

"Deal."

They head towards campus to take part in a scavenger hunt. Alison has invited her old roommate, Gretchen, and her new boyfriend to join their team. She quickly gives Mason a stern warning as they go to meet the couple in the quad.

"Don't you dare interfere with them."

"What! Why would I? You should really be having this conversation with Gretchen, because last time I just smiled at her and she took that as a sign that I wanted her to break up with her boyfriend for me. I was completely innocent." Mason defends himself.

"And this is one example of why we have the do not sleep with other members of the group rule," Tove softly whispers into Dan's ear.

Once they've got the list, the eight of them set off around Manhattan in search of the specified items. They attract a fair bit of attention everywhere they go, as they hurry along, laughing and talking loudly as they hunt. They're on the opposite sidewalk from a high-end club that's hosting a 'Heaven and Hells' masquerade ball, when they run into another group. It takes Dan a moment before he recognises a girl from his English Lit class, dressed up like the front cover of _Pride and Prejudices and Zombies_.

Suddenly, they're circling each other, as they playfully stare and growl. In a flash, she leans forward and gently nips his neck before she runs, giggling, after the rest of her team. Dan just stares after her in shock.

"If that was Amelia, then she doesn't count," Mason asserts, "Dan's slept with her before. He needs to pick up a girl who doesn't know him without the makeup in order for Freddie to win."

"As you didn't state that condition before making the bet, it doesn't count," Alison argues, "If Dan picks up any girl whilst dressed as a Zombie then Freddie wins the bet."

The others second her despite Mason's protests. Meanwhile, Dan's distracted by the feeling that they're being watched. He looks across the street to see four people, two men and two women, staring at the group. Dan's fairly certain that he knows exactly who three of them are, despite the fact that they're all wearing masks. His stomach drops as he continues to stare right back at them.

"Dan!" It's Neela's voice who brings his attention back to his friends. "Less _Dawn of the Dead_ and more _28 Days Later_ zombie, please. We need to get going."

He quickly shakes away the niggling feelings that have washed over him, slumps his shoulder unnaturally to one side, and sprints towards Neela. He growls and pretends to bite her once he catches up, and she laughs as she tries to dodge him. For the rest of the night, all thoughts of the three people in masks vanish from Dan's mind.

xxx

After much negotiating and persuading, Dan agrees to have Thanksgiving dinner with his dad and Lily. In return his dad agrees that Dan will spend Christmas with his mother and that Tove can come as his plus one. Despite studying in the US for almost four years, Tove has never experienced a proper Thanksgiving dinner. She usually spends her time during the holiday studying or in a casino playing poker tournaments. When he tells her that she can come, she envelops him a huge hug and beams with enthusiasm. And Tove's nothing if not enthusiastic.

His dad informs him that Serena, her new boyfriend and daughter, Jenny and Eric will also be joining them. Dan's relived when Chuck's name is not listed. He's informed his dad that he needs to leave by five due to another engagement; one which involves Tove, Nate (who's also needs an excuse to escape a tense family meal) and himself watching a selection of classic American films back at the apartment. It'll be the first time that he's seen Nate since they ran into each other and the first time he'll meet Tove; Dan's still unsure what sort of friendship he's trying to establish with Nate. But he knows that he doesn't want to cut him out of his life completely. Not like the others.

Jenny and Eric are already at the penthouse by the time Dan and Tove arrive. They accept a glass of champagne and make the first toast of the day with his dad and Lily. He watches Tove with a slight smirk on his face as she examines the table spread and the view from the living room with a look of glee. For now Dan's glad that he'd agreed to come; it's been too long since he's seen his sister or stepbrother and he's missed them a lot. He's especially missed Eric's ability to predict when Jenny's about to bring up an uncomfortable topic, like certain not-to-be-mentioned past relationship, and his skill for steering the conversation back to safer ground.

Finally Serena turns up with the new boyfriend and the daughter in tow. She fails to hide the apprehensive look directed at Dan as Steve and Sage are introduced. When Dan leaves to use the bathroom, Serena slips away and corners him outside once he's done.

"Can I have a quick word?" She asks him, worrying her lip slightly with her teeth.

He doesn't want to; he's fairly certain that he knows what she wants to talk about and he really would rather leave it alone. However, her anxiety over him being there is clear, so he reluctantly nods and follows her into her old room. He closes the door behind him and they stand apart, ensuring that they keep a decent distance between their bodies.

"Dan," Serena starts once she's finally found the courage to speak, "I haven't told Steve what happened. I haven't told anyone-"

"Look Serena, as far as I'm concerned, what happened between us is in the past. And I'm not going to bring up past mistakes, which I really wish I could undo, over dinner. Especially in front of our parents and siblings," He assures her.

"Good good. I deleted the tape. I really just want to forget about it."

"Well we're on the same page there. And if you do end up wanting to tell Steve about it, so long as you tell him the truth, I couldn't care less."

Serena nervously bites her lip again. "Does your friend know?"

Dan sighs. "You don't need to worry about Tove. She's the last person who will say anything. Also, she won't judge you or like you any less because of anything I've told her, I can promise you that."

Finally, Serena's concern fades away and her usually carefree smile is back. "You know I saw you and your new friends at Halloween. You were dresses as a Zombie weren't you? Me and Steve had just bumped into Chuck and Blair out-"

"I think we should heading back don't you?" He interrupts her ramblings.

She whispers her appreciation for him keeping their secret and moves to give him a hug, but Dan backs away before she can reach him. Her shock over his reject is clear, but she doesn't protest when he opens the door for her.

This particular van der Woodsen–Humphrey Thanksgiving dinner is the most uneventful one they've ever had. The conversation is remarkably smooth and everyone is on the best behaviour, apart from Sage who makes the odd snide comment before ignoring everyone else in favour of her phone. Dan silently wishes Serena the best luck for any attempts she makes to try and build a relationship with the unruly teen; she's definitely going to need it. They're all enjoying a fantastic pumpkin pie, when Tove inadvertently makes a comment which brings a sudden hush to the table.

"Well Dan, I think it's only fair that you come to Sweden next year and celebrate Midsummer with my family. And it'll be easy enough to do seeing as you'll be in Edinburgh."

It takes Tove a moment to realise that she's let something slip that she shouldn't have and she looks mildly horrified with herself. All eyes are on Dan and Tove now.

"I thought that you had told your dad?" Tove whispers as discreetly as she can given that they are currently the centre of attention.

"I haven't got round to it yet," He hisses back.

"Told me what Dan?" His dad asks with a look of confused concern.

Dan takes a deep breath, trying to ignore the scrutinising eyes on him. "I'm applying to do an English Masters in Edinburgh."

"It's a really good course at an amazing university," Tove adds supportively, "And the city is gorgeous."

"I haven't got in yet," Dan informs his dad, whilst Rufus stares at him, his expression a mixture of hurt and surprise.

"Yeah but he will," Tove snorts and when Dan shoots her a look, she shrugs, "Well you will. They would be crazy not to take you."

"Well that sounds like a wonderful opportunity for you, Daniel." Lily is the first to comment. She smiles at him proudly and Dan thinks she's reassuringly holding his father's hand under the table. "Don't you agree Rufus?"

It takes his dad a moment to respond, but a slight smile appears on his face when he does so. "Yes I do. So long as it's what you want?"

"It is."

Even though the conversation around the table moves on, Dan's still happy when it's finally time for him and Tove to leave. He knows his father is disappointed that he didn't tell him earlier, but Dan didn't want to say anything until he knew that he had a place. After seeing Mason's photos, Dan started reading about the city online and then the university. He's not quite sure what it is about the city which draws him to it, but he's wants to experience life as one of its inhabitants for a while. This would be a huge change for him; a real chance to start again in a city where no one knows him. But it would also be the first time that Dan would live on a different continent to his family.

As he says his goodbyes, he quietly reminds Jenny and Eric that they are welcome to come over if they can find a way to get out of more family bonding time. They agree to text him if they can make it. Dan and Tove are waiting for the elevator when the doors ping open and Dan feels his heart sink. Inside are Blair and Chuck; she stares back at him in shock, whilst a sneer spreads across Chuck's face.

"Hello Humphrey." Chuck's condescending greeting makes Dan focus his attention away from his ex and onto the over-privileged ass instead. "I hear that you're keeping more appropriate company these days."

Dan doesn't need to look at Tove to know she's frowning at Chuck; it's a rare achievement for someone to elicit that response from her when they've only just met. Chuck's arm is wrapped tightly around Blair and his fingertips curl possessively over her arm. Dan just shakes his head at Chuck's pathetic attempt at masculine intimidation.

"Well, Charles, it's been a pleasure as always," He says with false pleasantness oozing from his voice. He holds out his arm to Tove and she quickly loops her own through it, as they brush past the couple and swiftly enter the lift. Dan tries to ignore Blair's gaze as the doors slide shut. As the elevator descends, he tries not to think about how she looked; her beauty was almost overwhelmed by her clear exhaustion and wan complexion. She's lost weight as well, making her look even frailer. And, for some reason that he doesn't want to think about, he just wants to pull that stupid jewelled hair band off of her head. Dan tries to concentrate on the comforting feeling of Tove's arm against his and not on his anger at Chuck for not taking care of Blair. If he focuses on that then he's going to go storming back into the penthouse and give the selfish brat a piece of his mind. Doesn't he see how Blair looks? Doesn't he care?

"Does he always mumble that much, because I almost couldn't understand him?" Tove asks, snapping Dan out of depressing thoughts. "He's more incoherent than Christian Bale as Batman."

With that, his increasingly dark mood is broken and he lets out a slight chuckle. "Oh trust me, Chuck Bass is the opposite of Batman."

"Are you ok?" Tove gently enquires, giving his arm a reassuring squeeze. "That was the first time you've seen her right?"

"Yeah it was. But I'm ok. I just really don't feel like talking about it right now. I'm going to be fine though, I promise." He assures her, squeezing her arm back.

"Alright, but if you want to talk about it-"

"Then I know where you are," Dan finishes for her and gives her a small smile. "I do think, however, that picking up some more booze on the way home might be a good idea."

Tove smiles back at him as she hails a passing cab. "Deal."

They watch films with Nate, and later Jenny and Eric, until the early hours of next morning. Once everyone's left, Tove helps Dan into his bed as he rambles drunkenly about how it's best that he's seen Blair now. That it won't be such as shock next time. That, despite the amount he's drunk, it really doesn't bother him. Not in the slightest. Not really. Tove just pats him lovingly on the head, places a bucket beside his bed and a glass of water and two aspirin on his bedside table.

xxx

During the final week of classes before the Christmas break, Dan's new friends find out about Gossip Girl. It's Sunday morning and Tove's gone out for her daily jog despite the freezing temperature and the sporadic patches of ice. Dan's sitting in the kitchen, eating breakfast with Freddie and Alison, when Tove barges back into the apartment. Her face is storm and there's blood trailing down her arm.

"Oh my god Tove, what's happened?" Alison asks, as she runs over to her friend. She inspects the tear in Tove's clothing and the deep gash in her flesh. "Quick, get the first aid kit."

Alison leads Tove to a chair, whilst Freddie fishes through the cupboard for the kit. Dan grabs a clean cloth and a bowl of warm water which he holds out for Alison.

"Some damn teenager was taking photos of me on her phone. I have no idea why. And when I asked what the hell she was doing, she just laughed. And that's went I slipped on some ice and fell off the curb," Tove explains, fuming, as Alison begins to tend to her wound. "Oh and she took more pictures of me whilst I lay flat on my ass. She said something like 'you know you love me' before she ran off."

It's at this moment that Dan suddenly drops the bowl. Alison gives him an irritated look for spilling the water that she's using all over the floor, but Tove and Freddie eye him suspiciously.

"Do you know something we don't?" Freddie demands.

His mouth is dry; it feels like insides have turned to chalk and he can't even swallow. Even if he knew what to say, he's not sure that the words could make it out of his mouth without being caught on the rough surface. He stands there in a daze as his friends look at him expectantly, before he strides into his room and brings back his laptop. Dan avoids looking at the screen as the cursed website loads and turns it around so his friends can see it clearly.

It only takes a second before Alison and Freddie start yelling at him. Demanding to know what's going on. What is this website? And why are there pictures of them on it? Dan stands perfectly stills as the barrage of their understandable anger hits him. As they shout at him, Tove silently gets up and walks away. Dan feels hurt by her abandonment, but he can't blame her. The last time he went on Gossip Girl was before he left for Rome; it's very clear now how incredibly naive it was of him to assume that she would lose interest in his life if he just ignored her. That's not how she works. And because of him, his new friends' privacy is being invaded too.

Finally, he finds his voice again. "Gossip Girl is some anonymous blogger who posts rumours and gossip about people on the Upper East Side – primarily anyone who has anything to do with Serena van der Woodsen or Blair Wardorf. She's obsessed with them. She only started being interested in me when I started dating Serena and I was kinda hoping that she would stop posting about me once I'd detached myself from the Upper East Side."

"Well clearly she hasn't," Alison snaps, "Instead she's posting pictures of us and asking people to find out who we are!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know. I haven't looked at the website for months."

"It would have been nice if you'd mentioned your internet stalker before you moved in," Freddie comments angrily, "You know, so we could just have a heads up about your little situation."

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to put Gossip Girl behind me and have a fresh start."

"Apparently she doesn't feel the same!"

"I'll deal with it." Tove's stern statement cuts through the commotion. All three of them turn round to look at her, as she puts her shoes on at the door. She's wearing different clothes and her damp hair is almost completely hidden under her hat.

"What?" Freddie asks.

"I said I'll deal with it," Tove repeats calmly, but her usual smile is replaced by a grim look. "I'll be back when I can." And with that, she leaves.

Dan's day just goes from bad to worse when Neela and Mason show up. Dan's powerless to do anything apart from apologise as they rage about the situation. Finally everyone's anger is spent and instead they continue to look through the website with horrified fascination.

"Looks like the people think Tove is some sort of Manic Pixie Dream girl," Neela notes.

"To be fair, she does look like a pixie," Freddie comments, "Guess they haven't figured out she's gay."

"Well everyone knows from television that a woman's only a lesbian until she inevitably finds the right man," Mason states causing everyone to stare at him in disbelief. "What? I was being sarcastic. Anyway Tove would have laughed and mentioned something about how those same shows treat abusive relationships as something which can be magically resolved in a couple of episodes or retconned out of existence." He pauses and looks around the apartment for a moment. "Does anyone know where she went?"

Freddie just shrugs. "To 'deal with this', whatever that means. She's probably going all Lisbeth Salander on someone's ass."

Unless he's apologising, Dan hardly says a word. His friends' morbid curiosity about the world of Gossip Girl eventually leads to their usual teasing comments. But instead of hearing their usual good natured banter, all Dan can hear is their bitterness and judgement about the Dan that he used to be. The one he tried to keep from them. And with every comment made at his expense, Dan feels his rage and humiliation growing until they almost engulf him.

Suddenly, he cracks and storms out the apartment without thinking. For a while, his anger and his pace manages to keep him warn as he marches down the street, but eventually the cold starts to worm its way in. Dan regrets not grabbing his coat before he left, as he wraps his arms around himself in a vain attempt to conserve heat, but he can't go back right now. He can't face his friends like this.

He's almost two blocks away when he hears Alison calling his name. He ignores the desperate edge to her voice until he hears a sudden thump and a yelp of pain. Dan turns around to see her lying on the ground, clutching her ankle. Instinct takes over as he runs back to his injured friend and gently helps her to her feet. She offers him his now dirtied coat that she'd been carrying and gingerly tries to put weight on her foot. A hiss escapes her mouth and Dan helps her to hobble into the nearest coffee shop.

One of the other patrons offers her services as a doctor and carefully examines Alison's ankle. She assures her that it's just sprained, before asking a barista to fetch some ice for the injury. Dan leaves his friend for a moment to order two hot chocolate and then places drinks on the table as he sheepishly sits down.

"I think that I should be the getting those," She states softly.

"It's the least I could do seeing as you injured yourself chasing after me," Dan states sadly, "Sorry for this. For all of this."

"Hey it's ok." Alison reaches forward and wraps her hand around his before he can pull away. "We're not entirely blameless. This whole Gossip Girl thing clearly upsets you and we could have handled it with a bit more understanding and a lot more tact."

"I'm really sorry I didn't tell you before."

"I know. I'm sorry that you've had to put up with an online stalker for all these years," She tells him honestly, giving him a comforting smile and his hand a squeeze before letting go.

They sip their drinks in silence for a moment, but it's less tense than before.

"That's how I found out that Blair had left me. From Gossip Girl." The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them. He stares intensely at the table and counts the sugar granules that have been spilt on the surface. There are nine in total. He starts to run his finger over the rough grains, before Alison takes his hand again.

"I'm really sorry Dan. No one should have to find out like that. No one should have it happen to them in the first place."

He claps her hand tighter this time. "It's alright. Well it will be in time. Heals all wounds and such." He pauses before he starts rambling any further. "Do you mind if we stay here a bit longer? I need some more time to cool off."

She nods and they continue to sit there, holding hands across the table and drinking their hot chocolates.

The second they're through the apartment door, Dan is greeted by his very apologetic friends. Neela gives him a hug, whilst Mason hands him a beer and Freddie pats the space next to him on the couch. A videogame is paused on the television screen and Freddie offers him a controller and two free headshots. Dan accepts the controller, but refuses to accept any free pity points when he's capable of kicking Freddie's ass on his own. And just like that, everyone's smiling again and everything is forgiven.

xxx

Dan's woken from his sleep by the familiar hum of his computer booting up. It's been almost 48 hours since anyone's seen Tove and now she's in his bedroom, hunched over his laptop. Its gentle glow illuminates her in the darkness.

"Tove? What are you doing?"

She yawns and beckons him over. "Come take a look."

Reluctantly, he gets out of bed and goes to sit down at his desk. His sleepy brain takes a few moments to process the webpage on the screen, before he's staring at it in complete astonishment. He reads Gossip Girl's words over and over again, unable to entirely comprehend that this is really happening.

**Looks like Lonely Boy's finally made the decent back into obscurity. Congratulations, I no longer have any interest in your boring little life and so I won't be following it anymore. But one last favour before we part ways: when your next book gets published, I want to be sent the first copy. What can I say? I have a healthy appetite for both fact and fiction, and I'm curious about what Lonely Boy will give us this time.**

**Farewell Lonely Boy – enjoy your humdrum life.**

**xoxo**

Dan swivels his chair around to where Tove is laying face first on his bed. "How?" He asks with both shock and awe, "How did you do it?"

"I know someone who's good with computers and owes me a favour," Tove begins explain, her words muffled by her tiredness and the pillow, "We just sent her email with a virus laced photograph attached. When she downloaded the image, my acquaintance was able to hack into her computer and take a photograph of her using her own web camera. And once I had the leverage, it was pretty straight forward from there."

"You blackmailed Gossip Girl?"

"I prefer the term negotiated with," Tove yawns, "Oh and part of the agreement is that I don't reveal her identity to you or anyone else, and that you send her a copy of your next book. You just need to email her when it's coming out and she'll send you PO Box address. I thought it was a pretty fair deal."

"I really don't know what to say. You really are amazing."

"I know. Now let me sleep."

Dan stands up and folds his duvet over his exhausted friend. He reads the words which grant him his freedom one more time, before he closes the browser. Grinning widely, Dan opens up file on his hard drive and continues to work on his next chapter.


End file.
